Little groups in our little house

Living Small

It seems frivolous to write about me, but since it is my blog, I guess that is okay. What a concept.

The loss is still a keen pain in my heart and mind; the loss of our home. Some days are so busy, though, I don't feel the losses of the past year, and that is a good thing.

Having said that, I have a confession to make. I am finding that "living small" is becoming more and more appealing to me. I can't speak for my husband. He doesn't say much and I know he has a sense of loss also, but he wasn't as attached to 'our real house' as I was...even though he built it.

I am finding our "new space" very cozy and fixing it up and moving things around is sort of like 'playing house.' The small area is underwhelming. It takes less than an hour to do a thorough cleaning. We have no clutter because there is no room for it. Important receipts or papers have to be filed right away into the 12 x 12 box that is our new entire 'business' and home filing system. We don't feel we can afford a newspaper, so those aren't cluttering up the place. All the news and comics we ever want are on the computer anyway. (A good friend just told me this week that they quit the paper because of cost, too.)

Our phone system is our cell phones plus a jack that plugs into the computer and phone and it uses our standard phones. $20 a year. Reception is very good.

We entertain quite often. Just not huge groups at a time.

It is a nice feeling to go to a store and realize I can't have just whatever appeals to the eye. I don't need it. Can't afford it and have no room for it. What a freedom.

I have a minimum amount of shoes. While packing to move, I pared down our closet to just what we wear on a weekly basis. No excess. My purses fit in a plastic rectangle box.

Our kitchen holds what is needed daily. A few necessary, but not daily-used, items are in a hall closet. Our refrigerator is not old, but it has no ice maker. We use the old-fashioned ice cube trays.

Most days I feel such a contentment with this scaled-down living. I don't know how long we'll be here or where the next 'adventure' will take us, but for now, we have what we need. And that is enough. I hope this lasts a long, long time......

The Reality.....

Looking back, I can see I had no idea how hard it would be to move this time. I don't mean the difficulty of trying to pack everything and then trying to squeeze 4,000 square feet of 'stuff' into a 1,000 square foot condo. That, too, but what was (is?) difficult is the emotion. That is what I am writing about. I kept saying to well-meaning folks who would say, "Well, in the long run, you'll be happier in a smaller place" and I'd say, "If I can get past the emotion, yes, no doubt that will be true." I had no idea.

I did pretty well with being numb and worn out with all the packing. I didn't have to think. But the two nights that overlapped with our son, his wife and their four children when they had to move everything from their large home into ours for a temporary home, it was getting very 'close to home.' Two nights left to sleep in our home. Then one night.

I did pretty well when the family came after telling their home good-bye: Kids in tears, etc. Hearing how it was......

I did pretty well on the day of the move, trying to get through the rooms that were filled with two households of belongings; their beds being set up and their things brought in; our beds being taken apart; boxes being loaded in the trucks and trailer, etc.

Finally driving away that evening (husband in his truck; me alone in the car), I really felt the sadness descend like a blanket. And coming into a strange, now-overloaded, chaotic mini-dwelling it truly hit me. That Saturday night was one of the most difficult I have experienced in recent years. I truly didn't know if I'd ever recover. I know some of it was utter fatigue, but most of it was the utter sense of loss.

We don't like to think things mean so much to us. We try to think we are "deeper" beings than that, but the bitter truth is, we enjoy creature comforts. We don't like change. We like what is familiar.

I realize how spoiled I've been especially the past eight-plus years. Everything was still new and large and comfortable. We made a good living; things were good. Until things became bad....and that is when this all started.

Our 'new' living space is so small. There aren't enough cupboards. We are surrounded by other tenants, above us and on each side.

Many bags of stuff have been put in the trash bins; many boxes are going to the Goodwill store.
But we have everything we need. This is comfortable enough. I can help pick up the grandkids at their school, especially now that they live several miles from the school, which of course, is temporary.

But isn't this all just temporary?

This is the part that is the hardest to leave.....where I pray, read and knit....

Can't even take the chair; it is too big...

Last week at 'home'

I am finishing the packing in the kitchen now. This is the beginning of our last week at our home here. Son, wife and children, due to loss of their home also, are moving in to 'camp out' here while they try to find something big enough that they can afford for a family of six. It gives me comfort to know some of our family will still be in the house. We have no idea how long it will be in our name. It was just time for us to move on; being in limbo, not knowing when we'd have to move, for two years is long enough.
So this is the week to change the address for our mail, move our electric and gas, turn off the phone here, stop the newspaper, etc. I am winding down the packing; just things on the walls and accessories are mostly what are left and I will take them in our car as it is only 10 miles. There are boxes and boxes and boxes already packed though just to make it easier to transfer our 'stuff.' Husband doesn't pack. I do it. Well, a couple of my dear friends came one morning and helped with the china cabinet and I appreciate that a lot!
My schedule goes something like this for the week: Monday: Wash throw rugs, all sheets, start putting our clothes in wardrobe boxes for easier moving, clean showers, wrap white chairs and couch with sheets for moving. Arrange lamps and pictures together to take in the car.
Tuesday: vacuum under and behind beds before they are dismantled for moving. Load all pantry goods into big plastic containers, empty bathrooms of decoration and remaining items that aren't packed already. Wednesday: Spot clean carpets, scrub toilets, empty dresser drawers into suitcases for easy transport. Finish all unfinished packing. Thursday: We get our keys and sign the 6-month contract for the townhouse. Start moving boxes. (Who knows how much we'll get moved that first day). Friday: Internet is transferred from here to the new place in the afternoon, so 2 or 3 hours will be spent just waiting for the internet company.......Thank goodness for a grandson who will get all of that connected again!
When will we actually spend our first night in the 'new' place? Anyone's guess. We will be overlapped here with son, wife and grandkids for a couple nights but that is fine. And who knows how it will really go. This is just an outline or plan............

New scarf........

8 days and counting

Cuisnart food processor goes to Hope Industries, 35 year old mixer/meat grinder/blender goes there too. (It still works!) Sentimental things going either in the trash or to the Hope truck. Lots of old coffee going in the trash, flatware narrowed down to Silverplate and everyday stainless steel. Tupperware in the trash......... Making life simple for the next abode. Not thinking about the things that are being thrown away. There will be time later for that.......

New Address

So we took the plunge, applied for a 2-bedroom townhouse and were accepted. We can start moving items in on Oct. 1. Our house still hasn't sold, but we won't be allowed to stay here forever and a suitable place became available, so that will be our new home.....temporarily.

I am too numb and tired to really express how I feel. I suppose I could cry over all the changes this year has brought, but what good would it do. I am sure when I leave here for the last time, it will be a bit of death, but must move on to what life is holding out.........

'My Baby's' last night at home....

Sold. $3500. Eight years old...... Like new. Used excessively.

Good way to relax...

Good way to relieve stress during busy times; knitting a new scarf.

This is a cheaper yarn but after I get used to this difficult pattern, I want to get a very lacy yarn and make one 'for real.'

Sale called off....

So now the latest is that our 'buyers' have changed their mind and decided against buying our place. Now back to square one....

We found out they were planning to sell it again in a short time for a profit; not in this market, they won't.

Summer is waning....

Hard to believe that we are past the middle of August already. We have had one week or less of really hot weather, but here near the coast, we sometimes get our summer weather in September.
The packing goes on. I have most drawers and cupboards in boxes now. Except the kitchen and dining room. Closet shelves, etc. are packed. We still live day to day, not knowing when we will move. We have buyers now for our house. Cash buyers. They have offered very low and expect the mortgage company to counter back, but so far we have not heard of any decision.
It is a good feeling to know someone really wants our house. I am sorry they will get it for such a low price. The cost of the 1/3 acre and the cost of building our house was more than what we have been offered, but we have no say in that part. We are just glad we have gotten to stay here this long.
Now I am wondering why I have all these boxes of 'stuff' packed when we are doing very well living without what is in the boxes! I am having fun throwing things out, selling items to friends (for low prices). Why do we accumulate so much 'stuff!'
I haven't removed pictures off the walls yet, so it still looks like I haven't done anything towards a move, but that is deceiving. I have items in our dresser we need on a daily basis and in our nightstands by our bed that could be put in a box in 10 min. and it would be ready to go. My next project is to refine what is in the dresser drawers to even less in quantity.
No, I don't want to leave here. This is home. Who will feed the squirrels and birds? Will we see turkeys where we move to? Will it be so quiet you hardly hear a sound day or night? Not likely.
Life goes on..............

From Here to Where???

Time to move; or almost.

So little by little, we are weaning ourselves away from our 'dream' home. We didn't plan on it ending this way, but it is good to be flexible and realistic. This home, which my husband built and has our sweat and hard work involved, had everything we could have ever wanted in a home. But things change; downsizing comes; life goes on.........

Latest happenings

I will admit I still miss the soft fur and cuddling of Kitty-Wilbur. I guess I could adopt an owl like Esther Layman has, but don't know how to catch one....
However, much has been happening since Kitty-Wilbur. Mainly our yearly conventions which are so wonderful and then the following which has been very tense and worrisome.

Our dear friend, Rex Hinkle, is in Stanford Hospital, Stanford California, just recovering from a unique procedure to dissolve blood clots in his already injured leg. In January I wrote about their accident which added to the complications of his having polio when he was 10 years old.

His 'bad' leg was scanned with a contrast dye and found to have continuous clots from his groin to his foot. So after two procedures, (developed at Stanford eight years ago) he is 95% free of the clots now. It has been quite a week for he and Kathy!

Life is never dull; and so glad it isn't!

"Kitty-Will has a wonderful Home."

"Kitty-Wilbur" adopted us the first part of March. We haven't had pets since 11 years ago when our 16-year-old kitties became ill. I didn't want another kitty because it tore me up to lose the ones we had.

So "Kitty-Will" started hanging around here and lived in the big tree in our front yard. Little by little, he moved to our front porch and wanted to be closer to us and our fatal mistake was when 'husband' wanted to feed him. It was obvious he had been someones pet and he craved affection.

One Sunday morning he, still being uneasy around us, took a little scrape out of my arm with his front teeth when I was feeding him. He was overly anxious and overly hungry. Who knows how long it had been since his irresponsible previous owners dropped him off in our neighborhood.

"Kitty-Will" had bitten down on Ed A.'s hand the night before, but Ed thought he was such a fine cat, he just ignored it and kept petting him. "Kitty-Will" loved the attention!

A little history: When our daughter was four years old, a neighbor dog bit her in the face. I was taking a college course at night at the time and one of the students was a veterinarian. I started asking him questions about animal bites and soon discovered that a veterinarian knows more about animal bites and the consequences than most doctors will ever know. I discovered also that the neighbor's dog had never had his shots. So I lived in terror, checking that dog every day for signs of rabies. It turned out fine and nothing came of it, but those old fears kicked in out of my memory.

So the day of the bite from "Kitty-Will," I went to many neighbors but no one was missing a cat. Everyone has their own cat! I was stuck with the reality of being bitten by a cat I didn't know anything about.

I made an appointment with a local veterinarian and asked the pet hospital where she worked to board "Kitty" (isolate him) for ten days. They checked him over the day I took him in and found him to be a healthy, attractive 11 pound cat and a neutered male at that. Now I knew he'd been someones pet.

I picked "Kitty-Wilbur" up on the tenth day of his visit to the pet hospital. He'd been tested for cat fevers, including feline leukemia and was released as a healthy specimen. He was so happy to be back "home" and adoringly rolled at our feet. We had a cat whether we wanted one or not.

He became a garage kitty with a pet door that 'husband' had installed just for his use, but he wanted nothing to do with the pet door. So during the day, the garage door was left open just enough for him to come and go. At night he was tucked inside safe from the night's predators.

The very next day after coming "home," he 'lovingly' wrapped his paws around my leg and took a bite of my flesh again! This time a bigger chunk. I was very disappointed in "Kitty-Wilbur" at this point. Here, I'd had him watched for a disease, had shots given to protect him from future ills, had him protected from worms and treated for fleas but alas! his character was the same. He would do the same to husband when it came to grabbing the legs but husband wears jeans and I wear skirts so he didn't get to feel the impact I did.

"Kitty-Wilbur" was with us a month (if the isolation is included) but I began looking for a new home for him. We are facing a move from our home to a smaller one soon and husband is allergic to cat hair, not to mention the "character flaw" Kitty had in his possession.

There are shelters that promise to find homes for pets or they will keep them. The only drawback is a paper must be filled out called a "character sheet" to see if the pet is adoptable. Oh, what to do....... So I spoke on the phone with the veterinarian and we agreed that in all honesty, I couldn't say "Kitty-Will" was a good candidate for adoption. We also agreed that actually putting him to sleep permanently would be the most humane and kind option for "Kitty-Will." Who knows if someone would take him home with them and the first nip on the leg and he might be badly treated. He wouldn't have the kind nurturing that he was used to at our house! We brushed his fur, fed him canned cat food, made sure he was tucked in at night...He adored us and we really liked him!

But an appointment had been set prior to this for a booster shot he needed, so that instead was set up to be his day of departing this scene.

I was dreading this upcoming appointment. We have faced this before four times. As the day came closer, I was counting the hours; then it came down to minutes....

When it was time to go to the pet hospital, I went into the garage and picked "Kitty-Will" up from his cozy bed, wrapping him in a big bath towel and put him into the cat carrier. Tears had been choking me up all day and now they were falling on his beautiful coat. I was trying to tell him good-bye and explaining what I was about to do was for his good. He just looked at me like "What now? What did I do?"

Husband and I drove him to the dreaded appointment and I asked the staff there to please take him to the other room as I couldn't bear to wait while the veterinarian performed her task. An empty pet carrier was returned to us and amidst the rain, we cried our way home.....

All "Kitty-Wilbur" had wanted was a friend; someone to whom he could devote himself. I am consoled by knowing I gave him maybe his best weeks of care and kindness and in the end, he would hardly have felt a thing as he went to sleep forever. At least, I hope that is true....

No more pain; no more hunger or fear. "Kitty-Will" has a wonderful Home......

Some news on Chile today (regarding Quake)

Larry Christianson, Jill's brother, told my friend this morning on the phone that he understood that this quake in Chile early this morning had 800 times the strength of the Haiti quake. Very hard to fathom even a portion of that power. And that's not to down play the Haiti suffering and losses either. In Chile there are resources for construction on many levels to be much sturdier, but there are many old and many poorly built structures also. One 15 story building was reduced to the height of four stories, said one piece of news from Concepcion`.

Another news source online says that there was an 8 meter (26 feet) tsunami that came ashore at Constitucion`,north of Cauquenes and on the coast straight west of Talca.

Irene ~~~ Part 2

My friend, Irene, has been cremated and we have found the location of her husband's ashes. Irene's county guardian is working with me to get Irene's remains to the same cemetery. Then we can have a proper memorial service for this old friend.

Irene left this scene (expired?) on January 25, 2010. If I'd gone there a month earlier, I could have visited her in the county hospital.

Well, I will at least do all I can to give my old friend a memorial; that is the least I can do!

Irene

So I have this old friend, Irene. Actually her name is Ethel Irene. When I first went to visit her a long time ago, I didn't know her name was 'Ethel' so I told them I was looking for Irene. Took a bit to get that straightened out.
Irene, one of my 'sisters in Christ,' has been a good friend, although she really hasn't known who I am. I'll explain: Irene has had a sort of dementia for a long time now. She has been in a rest home and her two sons, who live in the same town, are really pretty worthless human beings; guess that is not nice to say, but they have never come to visit her. When she was still in her apartment, they moved in and mooched off her and would get to her social security checks before she did, and cash them. Her mind was such that she didn't know they were doing this. So one day a couple ladies I know came and arranged for her to be put in a care home; they bought comfortable clothes for her and moved her in.
That is basically when I began visiting her. I had been in her company many times prior to this, but now she was in a strange place and needed to see a familiar face. She didn't remember my name but her face always lit up and she knew that she 'knew' me.
Irene loved to sing. I'd bring my hymn book and we'd sing. She didn't even need to see the book; she was singing from what was in her heart and memory, which was a surprise since her memory was 'compromised.'
A few months ago when I visited Irene, she had had a stroke. So no more talking and singing for Irene. She was bedfast and her eyes were glazed over and she couldn't speak. So I talked to her and she would stare at me. But we couldn't 'visit' any more. But that didn't need to stop me from thinking of her. I could remember her before the One who speaks to the soul even when the mind is gone.
Sadly, I didn't get back to the nursing home like I should have; life is hectic to say the least and Irene's nursing home is 40 minutes away.
Yesterday I was there again. I walked up and down the hall looking for her name on a name plate outside the hospital doors. She wasn't in the one where I'd been so I went to the nurses' desk and they said, 'Oh, ma'am, she has expired.' Well, expired indeed! Like a bottle of salad dressing or what?! I don't like that terminology! They informed me that I could find out more at the social workers office down the hall.
So I found this office and asked 'What happened to Ethel (Irene)?!' Well, about a month ago, Irene had to be taken to the general hospital for the second time in a short while and while there she (expired?) passed on into Eternity. I didn't even get to tell her good-bye.
Poor Irene's body is still laying in that hospital's morgue because they can't find any relatives and they knew no one to call. I have her county appointed guardian's phone number and you can bet we are going to find out if her body is still there; if so, we will be having a proper memorial for Irene. She is too good to be forgotten......

Who says a 'powder room' has to be boring?

Put a marble-topped table in the half bath with some real roses and a lamp on it. Not so boring now.

Good Vision in a Downpour

How to easily achieve good vision while driving during a heavy downpour... We are not sure why it is so effective; just try this when it rains heavily. This method was told by a police friend who had experienced and confirmed it.

Note: It is useful, even when driving at night. Most of the motorists would turn on high or fastest speed of the wipers during heavy downpour, yet the visibility in front of the windshield is still bad... Don't do it.

In the event you face such a situation, just try your sunglasses (any model will do), and miracle of miracles occurs! All of a sudden, your visibility in front of your windshield is perfectly clear, as if there is no rain.

Make sure you always have a pair of sunglasses in your car as you are not only helping yourself to drive safely with good vision, but also might save your friend's life by giving him this idea. Try it yourself and share it with your friends.

We are more aware now of driving in the rain because our good friends hydroplaned across 4 lanes of the freeway 2 weeks ago and first crashed into the bridge on the right, deploying the air bags, then away they went to the far side and hit the concrete divider in the center of the freeway. Also they had on their cruise control. So when they were slowing down, the car automatically tried to compensate and speed up. This also is a no-no. Turn off your cruise control!

Needless to say, our friends car was totaled but worse than that, the man who was stricken with polio when he was 10 years old and is quite crippled, was driving. He is in the hospital with a cracked femur and can't wear a leg cast due to this happening to his 'bad leg.' So 7 to 9 weeks he has to lay with the leg extended and no weight on it.

Both he and his wife are lucky to be alive.

Back again......

It has been awhile since I've written. We took a trip from our place here in northern California to southern California, but we did it the 'easy' way this time; flew down! Flying makes travel so much more enjoyable. Except getting to your plane and then getting to your luggage. That is always a hassle! If one could just walk in and get in your seat, it would be a 'piece of cake.'

Since posting, my dear friend (mentioned in the post before this one) has had her surgery and most of the cancer was removed. She is recuperating at home and her prognosis looks fairly good. They are hoping for a remission soon.

Rain and more rain has been our weather here. The hills, though, are soooo green! Beautiful!

Not all has been good though with the rain; some of our friends had a car accident on the freeway, hitting the center divide and ruining their car. They are banged up also. Then I read today that in a city near us, a huge old tree fell on the cab of a truck, killing a 2-year-old boy and injuring his parents on each side of them. They were just sitting in their truck waiting for someone or something. Terrible!!

Time marches on; we are still in our house and no idea when we are supposed to move. We are hoping for the '30-day-notice' whenever the time comes. In the meantime, I am packing boxes, filling them with things in dresser drawers that we don't use and also getting our big closet thinned out. My project this week (I hope) will be to empty drawers and shelves in the cupbouards in our big hallway down to a bare minimum. I hope to just leave enough sheets available to use for us and guests for the present time and also save out some sheets to wrap pictures and fragile things that are too big for a box. This is an effort in trying to be ready when we are required to get out. Especially trying to get personal things confined in boxes so if we come to a 'big push,' others could come (I hope I don't have to ask anyone) and just put things in boxes and not worry about 'going through' them and discarding what we don't need. I have sold one huge set of china on eBay and have shredded bags and bags of paper to nestle dishes and vases in. Also drinking glasses.

Our hearts are with our friends in Haiti these days and I feel so silly having so much 'stuff' when these poor souls have the clothes on their backs and that is all. So far all our friends are accounted for!

Well, the week begins and lots to do.......

Musings......

Well, I thought 2010 would be bright and glorious, but last evening I had news that was the first blight of the new year. A dear friend I've known for 50 years and is my age told me she has advanced ovarian cancer. That hits too close to home for comfort. This dear soul is probably in a countdown now as we all are, in reality. I haven't been to the doctor for a check up for a long time and who knows what hides in the boundary of my largest organ, my skin.

We all know our days are numbered but when a close friend in our peer group is sitting on a 'time bomb,' it is reality time. This lady is an example of wholesomeness, purity and love and this makes me smile as I picture her. She was always the beautiful one in 'our crowd' when we were in our teens, but very dear in spite of her looks. She was the one we looked up to for an example. Today, she is still that example and will be to her death, I am sure.

I think of her dear husband and two children and two grandchildren........Life is full of surprises...

Corn meal muffins

Ready to bake....

Have a ham left from Xmas or New Year's?

For a good meal of leftovers, take a ham bone with meat still on it and add water; simmer for an hour. Add some wild rice, green beans and pepper. Cook together for another hour. Serve with corn meal muffins. Mmmmmmmm, good.

Some guidelines from the 2010 'Handbook'

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to pray. (this should be number one)
6.Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2009.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day and just think.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30-minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.