The New Year

It is a brand new year. It wasn't hard to see the past one go and hope this one will be better. Our holiday was fun and not very materialistic. We had lots of family time and games and laughs. Surprising how many we can get in our little 'house' here!

Our weather in this 'temperate clime' is very cold right now. It is hard to complain, though, when it was 60 degrees and sunny just a week or 10 days ago!

School is back in session so I get to see the grandkids every day after school; our "old" house is in process of being sold, so when the family moves closer to the school, I won't be picking them up at school except for rare occasions.

In a little over 6 weeks, we will see our 45th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe.

Hoping to visit Southern California soon and then hopefully Phoenix in March. Our hearts our with our sick friends and hope their year turns out good, too.

Little groups in our little house

Living Small

It seems frivolous to write about me, but since it is my blog, I guess that is okay. What a concept.

The loss is still a keen pain in my heart and mind; the loss of our home. Some days are so busy, though, I don't feel the losses of the past year, and that is a good thing.

Having said that, I have a confession to make. I am finding that "living small" is becoming more and more appealing to me. I can't speak for my husband. He doesn't say much and I know he has a sense of loss also, but he wasn't as attached to 'our real house' as I was...even though he built it.

I am finding our "new space" very cozy and fixing it up and moving things around is sort of like 'playing house.' The small area is underwhelming. It takes less than an hour to do a thorough cleaning. We have no clutter because there is no room for it. Important receipts or papers have to be filed right away into the 12 x 12 box that is our new entire 'business' and home filing system. We don't feel we can afford a newspaper, so those aren't cluttering up the place. All the news and comics we ever want are on the computer anyway. (A good friend just told me this week that they quit the paper because of cost, too.)

Our phone system is our cell phones plus a jack that plugs into the computer and phone and it uses our standard phones. $20 a year. Reception is very good.

We entertain quite often. Just not huge groups at a time.

It is a nice feeling to go to a store and realize I can't have just whatever appeals to the eye. I don't need it. Can't afford it and have no room for it. What a freedom.

I have a minimum amount of shoes. While packing to move, I pared down our closet to just what we wear on a weekly basis. No excess. My purses fit in a plastic rectangle box.

Our kitchen holds what is needed daily. A few necessary, but not daily-used, items are in a hall closet. Our refrigerator is not old, but it has no ice maker. We use the old-fashioned ice cube trays.

Most days I feel such a contentment with this scaled-down living. I don't know how long we'll be here or where the next 'adventure' will take us, but for now, we have what we need. And that is enough. I hope this lasts a long, long time......

The Reality.....

Looking back, I can see I had no idea how hard it would be to move this time. I don't mean the difficulty of trying to pack everything and then trying to squeeze 4,000 square feet of 'stuff' into a 1,000 square foot condo. That, too, but what was (is?) difficult is the emotion. That is what I am writing about. I kept saying to well-meaning folks who would say, "Well, in the long run, you'll be happier in a smaller place" and I'd say, "If I can get past the emotion, yes, no doubt that will be true." I had no idea.

I did pretty well with being numb and worn out with all the packing. I didn't have to think. But the two nights that overlapped with our son, his wife and their four children when they had to move everything from their large home into ours for a temporary home, it was getting very 'close to home.' Two nights left to sleep in our home. Then one night.

I did pretty well when the family came after telling their home good-bye: Kids in tears, etc. Hearing how it was......

I did pretty well on the day of the move, trying to get through the rooms that were filled with two households of belongings; their beds being set up and their things brought in; our beds being taken apart; boxes being loaded in the trucks and trailer, etc.

Finally driving away that evening (husband in his truck; me alone in the car), I really felt the sadness descend like a blanket. And coming into a strange, now-overloaded, chaotic mini-dwelling it truly hit me. That Saturday night was one of the most difficult I have experienced in recent years. I truly didn't know if I'd ever recover. I know some of it was utter fatigue, but most of it was the utter sense of loss.

We don't like to think things mean so much to us. We try to think we are "deeper" beings than that, but the bitter truth is, we enjoy creature comforts. We don't like change. We like what is familiar.

I realize how spoiled I've been especially the past eight-plus years. Everything was still new and large and comfortable. We made a good living; things were good. Until things became bad....and that is when this all started.

Our 'new' living space is so small. There aren't enough cupboards. We are surrounded by other tenants, above us and on each side.

Many bags of stuff have been put in the trash bins; many boxes are going to the Goodwill store.
But we have everything we need. This is comfortable enough. I can help pick up the grandkids at their school, especially now that they live several miles from the school, which of course, is temporary.

But isn't this all just temporary?

This is the part that is the hardest to leave.....where I pray, read and knit....

Can't even take the chair; it is too big...

Last week at 'home'

I am finishing the packing in the kitchen now. This is the beginning of our last week at our home here. Son, wife and children, due to loss of their home also, are moving in to 'camp out' here while they try to find something big enough that they can afford for a family of six. It gives me comfort to know some of our family will still be in the house. We have no idea how long it will be in our name. It was just time for us to move on; being in limbo, not knowing when we'd have to move, for two years is long enough.
So this is the week to change the address for our mail, move our electric and gas, turn off the phone here, stop the newspaper, etc. I am winding down the packing; just things on the walls and accessories are mostly what are left and I will take them in our car as it is only 10 miles. There are boxes and boxes and boxes already packed though just to make it easier to transfer our 'stuff.' Husband doesn't pack. I do it. Well, a couple of my dear friends came one morning and helped with the china cabinet and I appreciate that a lot!
My schedule goes something like this for the week: Monday: Wash throw rugs, all sheets, start putting our clothes in wardrobe boxes for easier moving, clean showers, wrap white chairs and couch with sheets for moving. Arrange lamps and pictures together to take in the car.
Tuesday: vacuum under and behind beds before they are dismantled for moving. Load all pantry goods into big plastic containers, empty bathrooms of decoration and remaining items that aren't packed already. Wednesday: Spot clean carpets, scrub toilets, empty dresser drawers into suitcases for easy transport. Finish all unfinished packing. Thursday: We get our keys and sign the 6-month contract for the townhouse. Start moving boxes. (Who knows how much we'll get moved that first day). Friday: Internet is transferred from here to the new place in the afternoon, so 2 or 3 hours will be spent just waiting for the internet company.......Thank goodness for a grandson who will get all of that connected again!
When will we actually spend our first night in the 'new' place? Anyone's guess. We will be overlapped here with son, wife and grandkids for a couple nights but that is fine. And who knows how it will really go. This is just an outline or plan............

New scarf........