Downsizing and how to get rid of clutter....

A friend of mine asked me the other day how I got rid of things when we had to move out of our house and had to downsize from 4000 square feet to 1000 square feet.  Our move was out of necessity and unfortunately, this friend's husband left her and the one son at home so they can't afford to stay there.  She now has her Mother living with her plus the son still at home, not able to afford much.

It brought back memories, some of which are recorded on this blog in past posts, and not all pleasant memories, for sure.  We had lots of rooms in our 'dream home' as we had built it for a future resale and hoping a large family would enjoy it as we did at some 'far off future date.'.  We didn't plan of course to 'lose' it like we did......
But when there are lots of spaces to fill, a person fills them so there won't be lots of bare areas.

I had started a year prior to our move in the 'sorting and getting rid of' stage of things.  I started with a table in the huge garage with things that obviously we didn't need.  As time went on, it got more serious; I was getting rid of things we could use but could live without.  When it got down to the weeks before actually moving, things were gotten rid of that maybe we even could use and would have liked to keep.

Pieces of furniture were listed on Craigslist; some sold, some did not.  Pieces of furniture were sold to friends, at a very reduced price.  Light fixtures were taken down and sold to those who would appreciate them in their homes.  Eventually the big commercial kitchen cook stove was sold and we finished our stay by cooking with microwave and toaster oven.

In our 'new' abode, the double garage is laid out in a single style, but tandem.  So it is long and narrow and is located directly under one-half of our condo we live in.  We didn't want the expense of a storage shed, so the only other solution to what we felt we had to keep to survive was to store things in this garage.  Luckily there is a sturdy shelf across the back (end) of the garage which held a lot of boxes and things that wouldn't fit 'upstairs' in the condo.  Luckily there were lots of parking places outside for our two vehicles, one even designated just to us.

The furniture we did keep was able to all get inside the condo, some areas being a little tight fit.  Our master bedroom has an Eastern King bed that we didn't really want to part with and it takes up most of the room; then there is the dresser and two nightstands.  The guest room had room for our twin guest beds, thankfully. Our living room now holds the living room couch plus a family room couch, facing each other but making lots of seating area.  We were fortunate to have a condo with enough room to have a little dining room that holds our dining set including the big china cabinet and a teacup cabinet.  Washer and dryer were included in addition to all the kitchen appliances so our washer and dryer, while still in our possession need to be sold.

All of this is not important but just an example of how things can be reduced, gotten rid of and life goes on and looking back, we have found we can live with so much less.  This isn't an effort to criticize people who have lots of room and lots of things.  This is normal to have rooms well furnished, but when the time comes to downsize, it is able to be done.

On a different note, another friend who is redecorating their home and updating bathrooms, etc., asked me how to downsize a home office area in their master bedroom.  They are going to close in a closet in the next door bedroom and move their desk and shelves into this area and close it off with folding doors.  She told me of all the papers, clutter and miscellaneous that makes up this office area and wondering what to do with it.  I could only tell her of what we had to do.  We used to have a home office  for our family business.  I know about file cabinets, filing, papers, clutter.  We had to downsize to a rolling file box; about 18 inches square.  We shredded old bank statements, old mortgage documents, old work orders for days, using the shredded paper to pack breakables in for our move.

 Bank statements should be saved for a year; most banks have our statements online anyway,  easy to be viewed at the touch of a few keyboard strokes.  Real estate documents are a little different,  current ones in a safe file.  Licenses, pink slips, birth certificates, etc. need to be in a secure area too.  All these thing can fit in this rolling file box we have.   Bill payment stubs can be kept until the next month; discard last month's.  Sometimes I just enter the payment on my computer bill pay and just throw the bill paper away.  The record is there on the computer anyway.  It is amazing how little paperwork we need to keep.   Even personal letters we receive; read them twice and toss them  in the trash.  Downsize the paper!    What a wonderful feeling.  Throw away magazines month by month.  Newspapers day by day.  In fact, don't even subscribe to a newspaper....it is all online on the computer.

My next project is to take all loose pictures and get them into organized albums;  categorized by children, grandchildren, friends, acquaintances, etc.  How nice to have them in albums and not a box.

Hope this will give someone a few pointers on downsizing and decluttering!

Don't Look Back

"A place to live could shelter and nurture you like a lover's arms, then turn on you one day and leave you out in the cold for reasons you barely understood."  

Well, this abode we loved didn't turn on us, but the economy did.  In ten days, it will be a year since our last night in this home.  Now we are giving up the keys this week.   I am so glad for the years we had to enjoy this place and the people that graced our doorstep and stayed and lived with us.  It was a joy to choose all the things to make it what we wanted.  It was enjoyable to watch my husband and his crew put it together.

As long as I have my memory, I will revisit this home in my mind and think of the things that were so special to me.   I can walk through the rooms and touch the walls and sit in my favorite places..... Of course only in my memory.......

Auction Day

Today, July 26, our home we built with all happiness and hope for the future, was sold in a public auction to the highest bidder. Sad day. Sometimes when I am feeling badly, I think of that saying: "I complained that I didn't have any shoes until I saw a man with no feet." And I feel like we are, alas, the ones with 'no feet.'

But of course, we have much to be thankful for. A host of wonderful friends, wonderful family, a measure of health, food and shelter and most of all Life. I want to keep that in mind......

Now What?

So after we have been living in this condo for 6.5 months, the landlady decided she must sell it. From the property manager we understand that she is 'upside down' on the mortgage and it must go for a short sale. We don't know if we have six months before we have to move or two months or a year or......... Back to living in unsettled conditions. Sometimes I envy those folks in their 60's who are settled and have been some place a long time and have little stress in their lives. Not good to be envious....but it gets tedious always wondering if we have to move; where we will go, etc.

...... Husband is a wanderer, so loves to move; I see him all the time on his computer looking at new areas........not fun for me. We have been in this area for some time. We feel like we have some (shallow) roots down. Yes, this is our third living space here, but still in the general area. Four grandkids live in the area and son and daughter-in-law. As we get older, it gives (me, at least) some comfort knowing a blood relative and sweet grandkids are nearby. Who wants to live 500 miles from the nearest child when one gets older, gets sick or needs help?

Today one of my good friends was buried. She was 3 months younger than I am. I will miss contact with her. But so happy for her victorious finish in this life! What an inspiration she has always been to me. I've known her since I was 16 years old.

.......What is dying?

A ship sails and I stand

watching until she fades

on the horizon, and someone at my

side says, "She is gone".

Gone where? Gone from my

sight, that is all; she is just as

large as when I saw her...

The diminished size and total

loss of sight is in me, not in

her, and just at the moment

when someone at my side

says "she is gone" there are

others who are watching her

coming, and other voices

take up a glad shout, "there

she comes!".... and that is

dying.

(Thanks to Doug for quoting this in an email)

The New Year

It is a brand new year. It wasn't hard to see the past one go and hope this one will be better. Our holiday was fun and not very materialistic. We had lots of family time and games and laughs. Surprising how many we can get in our little 'house' here!

Our weather in this 'temperate clime' is very cold right now. It is hard to complain, though, when it was 60 degrees and sunny just a week or 10 days ago!

School is back in session so I get to see the grandkids every day after school; our "old" house is in process of being sold, so when the family moves closer to the school, I won't be picking them up at school except for rare occasions.

In a little over 6 weeks, we will see our 45th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe.

Hoping to visit Southern California soon and then hopefully Phoenix in March. Our hearts our with our sick friends and hope their year turns out good, too.

Little groups in our little house

Living Small

It seems frivolous to write about me, but since it is my blog, I guess that is okay. What a concept.

The loss is still a keen pain in my heart and mind; the loss of our home. Some days are so busy, though, I don't feel the losses of the past year, and that is a good thing.

Having said that, I have a confession to make. I am finding that "living small" is becoming more and more appealing to me. I can't speak for my husband. He doesn't say much and I know he has a sense of loss also, but he wasn't as attached to 'our real house' as I was...even though he built it.

I am finding our "new space" very cozy and fixing it up and moving things around is sort of like 'playing house.' The small area is underwhelming. It takes less than an hour to do a thorough cleaning. We have no clutter because there is no room for it. Important receipts or papers have to be filed right away into the 12 x 12 box that is our new entire 'business' and home filing system. We don't feel we can afford a newspaper, so those aren't cluttering up the place. All the news and comics we ever want are on the computer anyway. (A good friend just told me this week that they quit the paper because of cost, too.)

Our phone system is our cell phones plus a jack that plugs into the computer and phone and it uses our standard phones. $20 a year. Reception is very good.

We entertain quite often. Just not huge groups at a time.

It is a nice feeling to go to a store and realize I can't have just whatever appeals to the eye. I don't need it. Can't afford it and have no room for it. What a freedom.

I have a minimum amount of shoes. While packing to move, I pared down our closet to just what we wear on a weekly basis. No excess. My purses fit in a plastic rectangle box.

Our kitchen holds what is needed daily. A few necessary, but not daily-used, items are in a hall closet. Our refrigerator is not old, but it has no ice maker. We use the old-fashioned ice cube trays.

Most days I feel such a contentment with this scaled-down living. I don't know how long we'll be here or where the next 'adventure' will take us, but for now, we have what we need. And that is enough. I hope this lasts a long, long time......

The Reality.....

Looking back, I can see I had no idea how hard it would be to move this time. I don't mean the difficulty of trying to pack everything and then trying to squeeze 4,000 square feet of 'stuff' into a 1,000 square foot condo. That, too, but what was (is?) difficult is the emotion. That is what I am writing about. I kept saying to well-meaning folks who would say, "Well, in the long run, you'll be happier in a smaller place" and I'd say, "If I can get past the emotion, yes, no doubt that will be true." I had no idea.

I did pretty well with being numb and worn out with all the packing. I didn't have to think. But the two nights that overlapped with our son, his wife and their four children when they had to move everything from their large home into ours for a temporary home, it was getting very 'close to home.' Two nights left to sleep in our home. Then one night.

I did pretty well when the family came after telling their home good-bye: Kids in tears, etc. Hearing how it was......

I did pretty well on the day of the move, trying to get through the rooms that were filled with two households of belongings; their beds being set up and their things brought in; our beds being taken apart; boxes being loaded in the trucks and trailer, etc.

Finally driving away that evening (husband in his truck; me alone in the car), I really felt the sadness descend like a blanket. And coming into a strange, now-overloaded, chaotic mini-dwelling it truly hit me. That Saturday night was one of the most difficult I have experienced in recent years. I truly didn't know if I'd ever recover. I know some of it was utter fatigue, but most of it was the utter sense of loss.

We don't like to think things mean so much to us. We try to think we are "deeper" beings than that, but the bitter truth is, we enjoy creature comforts. We don't like change. We like what is familiar.

I realize how spoiled I've been especially the past eight-plus years. Everything was still new and large and comfortable. We made a good living; things were good. Until things became bad....and that is when this all started.

Our 'new' living space is so small. There aren't enough cupboards. We are surrounded by other tenants, above us and on each side.

Many bags of stuff have been put in the trash bins; many boxes are going to the Goodwill store.
But we have everything we need. This is comfortable enough. I can help pick up the grandkids at their school, especially now that they live several miles from the school, which of course, is temporary.

But isn't this all just temporary?

This is the part that is the hardest to leave.....where I pray, read and knit....

Can't even take the chair; it is too big...

Last week at 'home'

I am finishing the packing in the kitchen now. This is the beginning of our last week at our home here. Son, wife and children, due to loss of their home also, are moving in to 'camp out' here while they try to find something big enough that they can afford for a family of six. It gives me comfort to know some of our family will still be in the house. We have no idea how long it will be in our name. It was just time for us to move on; being in limbo, not knowing when we'd have to move, for two years is long enough.
So this is the week to change the address for our mail, move our electric and gas, turn off the phone here, stop the newspaper, etc. I am winding down the packing; just things on the walls and accessories are mostly what are left and I will take them in our car as it is only 10 miles. There are boxes and boxes and boxes already packed though just to make it easier to transfer our 'stuff.' Husband doesn't pack. I do it. Well, a couple of my dear friends came one morning and helped with the china cabinet and I appreciate that a lot!
My schedule goes something like this for the week: Monday: Wash throw rugs, all sheets, start putting our clothes in wardrobe boxes for easier moving, clean showers, wrap white chairs and couch with sheets for moving. Arrange lamps and pictures together to take in the car.
Tuesday: vacuum under and behind beds before they are dismantled for moving. Load all pantry goods into big plastic containers, empty bathrooms of decoration and remaining items that aren't packed already. Wednesday: Spot clean carpets, scrub toilets, empty dresser drawers into suitcases for easy transport. Finish all unfinished packing. Thursday: We get our keys and sign the 6-month contract for the townhouse. Start moving boxes. (Who knows how much we'll get moved that first day). Friday: Internet is transferred from here to the new place in the afternoon, so 2 or 3 hours will be spent just waiting for the internet company.......Thank goodness for a grandson who will get all of that connected again!
When will we actually spend our first night in the 'new' place? Anyone's guess. We will be overlapped here with son, wife and grandkids for a couple nights but that is fine. And who knows how it will really go. This is just an outline or plan............

New scarf........

8 days and counting

Cuisnart food processor goes to Hope Industries, 35 year old mixer/meat grinder/blender goes there too. (It still works!) Sentimental things going either in the trash or to the Hope truck. Lots of old coffee going in the trash, flatware narrowed down to Silverplate and everyday stainless steel. Tupperware in the trash......... Making life simple for the next abode. Not thinking about the things that are being thrown away. There will be time later for that.......

New Address

So we took the plunge, applied for a 2-bedroom townhouse and were accepted. We can start moving items in on Oct. 1. Our house still hasn't sold, but we won't be allowed to stay here forever and a suitable place became available, so that will be our new home.....temporarily.

I am too numb and tired to really express how I feel. I suppose I could cry over all the changes this year has brought, but what good would it do. I am sure when I leave here for the last time, it will be a bit of death, but must move on to what life is holding out.........

'My Baby's' last night at home....

Sold. $3500. Eight years old...... Like new. Used excessively.

Good way to relax...

Good way to relieve stress during busy times; knitting a new scarf.

This is a cheaper yarn but after I get used to this difficult pattern, I want to get a very lacy yarn and make one 'for real.'

Sale called off....

So now the latest is that our 'buyers' have changed their mind and decided against buying our place. Now back to square one....

We found out they were planning to sell it again in a short time for a profit; not in this market, they won't.

Summer is waning....

Hard to believe that we are past the middle of August already. We have had one week or less of really hot weather, but here near the coast, we sometimes get our summer weather in September.
The packing goes on. I have most drawers and cupboards in boxes now. Except the kitchen and dining room. Closet shelves, etc. are packed. We still live day to day, not knowing when we will move. We have buyers now for our house. Cash buyers. They have offered very low and expect the mortgage company to counter back, but so far we have not heard of any decision.
It is a good feeling to know someone really wants our house. I am sorry they will get it for such a low price. The cost of the 1/3 acre and the cost of building our house was more than what we have been offered, but we have no say in that part. We are just glad we have gotten to stay here this long.
Now I am wondering why I have all these boxes of 'stuff' packed when we are doing very well living without what is in the boxes! I am having fun throwing things out, selling items to friends (for low prices). Why do we accumulate so much 'stuff!'
I haven't removed pictures off the walls yet, so it still looks like I haven't done anything towards a move, but that is deceiving. I have items in our dresser we need on a daily basis and in our nightstands by our bed that could be put in a box in 10 min. and it would be ready to go. My next project is to refine what is in the dresser drawers to even less in quantity.
No, I don't want to leave here. This is home. Who will feed the squirrels and birds? Will we see turkeys where we move to? Will it be so quiet you hardly hear a sound day or night? Not likely.
Life goes on..............

From Here to Where???

Time to move; or almost.

So little by little, we are weaning ourselves away from our 'dream' home. We didn't plan on it ending this way, but it is good to be flexible and realistic. This home, which my husband built and has our sweat and hard work involved, had everything we could have ever wanted in a home. But things change; downsizing comes; life goes on.........

Latest happenings

I will admit I still miss the soft fur and cuddling of Kitty-Wilbur. I guess I could adopt an owl like Esther Layman has, but don't know how to catch one....
However, much has been happening since Kitty-Wilbur. Mainly our yearly conventions which are so wonderful and then the following which has been very tense and worrisome.

Our dear friend, Rex Hinkle, is in Stanford Hospital, Stanford California, just recovering from a unique procedure to dissolve blood clots in his already injured leg. In January I wrote about their accident which added to the complications of his having polio when he was 10 years old.

His 'bad' leg was scanned with a contrast dye and found to have continuous clots from his groin to his foot. So after two procedures, (developed at Stanford eight years ago) he is 95% free of the clots now. It has been quite a week for he and Kathy!

Life is never dull; and so glad it isn't!

"Kitty-Will has a wonderful Home."

"Kitty-Wilbur" adopted us the first part of March. We haven't had pets since 11 years ago when our 16-year-old kitties became ill. I didn't want another kitty because it tore me up to lose the ones we had.

So "Kitty-Will" started hanging around here and lived in the big tree in our front yard. Little by little, he moved to our front porch and wanted to be closer to us and our fatal mistake was when 'husband' wanted to feed him. It was obvious he had been someones pet and he craved affection.

One Sunday morning he, still being uneasy around us, took a little scrape out of my arm with his front teeth when I was feeding him. He was overly anxious and overly hungry. Who knows how long it had been since his irresponsible previous owners dropped him off in our neighborhood.

"Kitty-Will" had bitten down on Ed A.'s hand the night before, but Ed thought he was such a fine cat, he just ignored it and kept petting him. "Kitty-Will" loved the attention!

A little history: When our daughter was four years old, a neighbor dog bit her in the face. I was taking a college course at night at the time and one of the students was a veterinarian. I started asking him questions about animal bites and soon discovered that a veterinarian knows more about animal bites and the consequences than most doctors will ever know. I discovered also that the neighbor's dog had never had his shots. So I lived in terror, checking that dog every day for signs of rabies. It turned out fine and nothing came of it, but those old fears kicked in out of my memory.

So the day of the bite from "Kitty-Will," I went to many neighbors but no one was missing a cat. Everyone has their own cat! I was stuck with the reality of being bitten by a cat I didn't know anything about.

I made an appointment with a local veterinarian and asked the pet hospital where she worked to board "Kitty" (isolate him) for ten days. They checked him over the day I took him in and found him to be a healthy, attractive 11 pound cat and a neutered male at that. Now I knew he'd been someones pet.

I picked "Kitty-Wilbur" up on the tenth day of his visit to the pet hospital. He'd been tested for cat fevers, including feline leukemia and was released as a healthy specimen. He was so happy to be back "home" and adoringly rolled at our feet. We had a cat whether we wanted one or not.

He became a garage kitty with a pet door that 'husband' had installed just for his use, but he wanted nothing to do with the pet door. So during the day, the garage door was left open just enough for him to come and go. At night he was tucked inside safe from the night's predators.

The very next day after coming "home," he 'lovingly' wrapped his paws around my leg and took a bite of my flesh again! This time a bigger chunk. I was very disappointed in "Kitty-Wilbur" at this point. Here, I'd had him watched for a disease, had shots given to protect him from future ills, had him protected from worms and treated for fleas but alas! his character was the same. He would do the same to husband when it came to grabbing the legs but husband wears jeans and I wear skirts so he didn't get to feel the impact I did.

"Kitty-Wilbur" was with us a month (if the isolation is included) but I began looking for a new home for him. We are facing a move from our home to a smaller one soon and husband is allergic to cat hair, not to mention the "character flaw" Kitty had in his possession.

There are shelters that promise to find homes for pets or they will keep them. The only drawback is a paper must be filled out called a "character sheet" to see if the pet is adoptable. Oh, what to do....... So I spoke on the phone with the veterinarian and we agreed that in all honesty, I couldn't say "Kitty-Will" was a good candidate for adoption. We also agreed that actually putting him to sleep permanently would be the most humane and kind option for "Kitty-Will." Who knows if someone would take him home with them and the first nip on the leg and he might be badly treated. He wouldn't have the kind nurturing that he was used to at our house! We brushed his fur, fed him canned cat food, made sure he was tucked in at night...He adored us and we really liked him!

But an appointment had been set prior to this for a booster shot he needed, so that instead was set up to be his day of departing this scene.

I was dreading this upcoming appointment. We have faced this before four times. As the day came closer, I was counting the hours; then it came down to minutes....

When it was time to go to the pet hospital, I went into the garage and picked "Kitty-Will" up from his cozy bed, wrapping him in a big bath towel and put him into the cat carrier. Tears had been choking me up all day and now they were falling on his beautiful coat. I was trying to tell him good-bye and explaining what I was about to do was for his good. He just looked at me like "What now? What did I do?"

Husband and I drove him to the dreaded appointment and I asked the staff there to please take him to the other room as I couldn't bear to wait while the veterinarian performed her task. An empty pet carrier was returned to us and amidst the rain, we cried our way home.....

All "Kitty-Wilbur" had wanted was a friend; someone to whom he could devote himself. I am consoled by knowing I gave him maybe his best weeks of care and kindness and in the end, he would hardly have felt a thing as he went to sleep forever. At least, I hope that is true....

No more pain; no more hunger or fear. "Kitty-Will" has a wonderful Home......